What’s Wrong With Ordinary?
Welcome to Effective Habits, a weekly newsletter where I share evidence-based strategies and tools to help you live a happy, healthy, and productive life.
Today at a Glance:
Why Is It So Hard to Be Ordinary?
Sleep Pharmacology: The Role of Medications in Healthy Sleep
This Is The Most Important Skill You Can Have In Life
“I try to live to a standard, not the circumstances of the day. Some days it is easy. Some days it is hard. But I do it either way because that's who I want to be, not because it is always easy to do.”
Why Is It So Hard to Be Ordinary?
Joshua Rothman
🔦Lights, Camera, ...
Most of us are ordinary most of the time, so why does it feel so hard to let that be enough? A sign posted at a Little League field recently offered a quiet reminder: these are kids, this is a game, coaches are volunteers, umpires are human, and no scholarships will be handed out today. It was funny because it was necessary. Even in children’s sports, the pressure to be exceptional creeps in—every game becomes a proving ground, every hobby a potential résumé builder, every ordinary effort something to optimize. And that mindset doesn’t stop at the ballpark. It follows us into work, parenting, friendships, vacations, fitness, and creative projects, convincing us that decent is disappointing, average is failure, and good enough is a compromise. Excellence has its place; striving can be meaningful. But when greatness becomes the only acceptable outcome, ordinary life starts to feel like something we need to escape instead of something we can inhabit. Maybe the harder, braver thing is not always to improve, achieve, or stand out, but to accept that much of a good life is made of moments no one will applaud, remember, or rank.
🎬Action!
Practice being “good enough” on purpose. Pick one area of your life this week where you normally feel pressure to optimize, impress, or improve—your workout, parenting, work, hobby, weekend plans, or creative project—and deliberately lower the stakes. Ask yourself:
What would “good enough” look like here? Not perfect. Not impressive. Not optimized. Just enough to meet the real need.
What pressure am I adding that doesn’t actually matter? Maybe the run doesn’t need a pace goal. The meal doesn’t need to be special. The project doesn’t need one more polish pass. The weekend doesn’t need to be memorable.
Can I let this be ordinary without treating it as failure? Do the thing well enough, then stop. Let it count. Let it be decent, forgettable, unranked, and still worthwhile.
At the end of the week: Did anything truly fall apart, or did I simply make more room to live? The goal isn’t to abandon ambition. It’s to notice where the pursuit of greatness is making ordinary life harder to enjoy.
Sleep Pharmacology: The Role of Medications in Healthy Sleep
Dr. Peter Attia
🔦Lights, Camera, ...
Sleep is one of the most powerful levers we have for health, but when it breaks down, the fix is rarely as simple as “take something and knock yourself out.” Different sleep problems come from different causes: poor circadian timing, weak sleep pressure, hyperarousal, disrupted sleep architecture, or an underlying medical issue. That’s why sleep medications, emerging therapies, and common supplements need to be understood less as generic sleep aids and more as targeted tools. Some may help you fall asleep faster, some may help you stay asleep, some may shift your internal clock, and some may preserve sleep quality better than others. The key is matching the tool to the actual problem, because in sleep, guessing often creates more problems than it solves.
🎬Action!
Diagnose which sleep system is disrupted. Don’t start by asking, “What can I take?” Start by asking, “What is actually going wrong?” Almost every sleep issue can be traced back to one or more of four things:
Sleep Pressure: If you don’t feel sleepy at bedtime, take long naps, sleep in, or rely on late caffeine, your sleep pressure may be too weak.
Circadian Timing: If you feel alert late at night, wake too early, struggle after travel, or sleep poorly after shifting your schedule, your circadian timing may be off.
Hyperarousal: If you feel exhausted but wired, lie in bed thinking, or associate bedtime with stress, you may be dealing with hyperarousal.
Sleep Architecture: If you sleep long enough but still wake up unrefreshed, wake repeatedly, snore, gasp, move your legs, or feel foggy the next day, your sleep architecture may be disrupted.
Rebuild the foundation first. Before reaching for a targeted fix, make sure the basics are in place. These habits give your sleep system the best chance to work naturally.
Keep a consistent wake time, bedtime, and meal schedule.
Get outdoor light soon after waking.
Keep the bedroom cool, dark, and quiet.
Reduce bright light, screens, and physical and mental stress before bed.
Address the specific problem you identified. Once the foundation is in place, match the intervention to the problem.
If your sleep pressure is weak, avoid long naps, late caffeine, and big sleep-ins, and use daytime exercise to build more sleep drive.
If your circadian timing is off, prioritize morning light, dim evenings, regular meal timing, and carefully timed melatonin when appropriate.
If hyperarousal is the issue, focus less on “sleep hacks” and more on calming the nervous system through CBT-I, journaling, breathwork, therapy, or a consistent wind-down routine.
If sleep architecture seems disrupted, look for what may be fragmenting sleep: alcohol, medications, sleep apnea, restless legs, pain, stress, or poor recovery.
Rule out what habits can’t fix. If you are doing the basics well and still sleeping poorly, look deeper. Sleep apnea, restless legs, chronic pain, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, medication side effects, alcohol, shift work, and frequent travel can all disrupt sleep. In these cases, better sleep hygiene alone may not solve the problem, and targeted medical or behavioral support may be needed.
Use sleep aids only when they match the mechanism. The goal is not to take whatever “knocks you out.” Melatonin is best for circadian timing, not general insomnia. Supplements like glycine, magnesium, ashwagandha, or phosphatidylserine may help some people, but the evidence varies and product quality matters. Prescription sleep medications can be useful, especially short term, but they should be matched to the issue: falling asleep, staying asleep, shifting timing, reducing hyperarousal, or preserving sleep quality.
Measure better sleep, not stronger sedation. A good sleep strategy should help you fall asleep more easily, wake less often, feel more restored, function better the next day, and rely less on external tools over time. Track what changes, keep what clearly helps, and avoid turning a short-term bridge into a long-term crutch.
🔦Lights, Camera, ...
Writing feels slow, frustrating, and inefficient—which is exactly why it matters. The real value of an essay, article, briefing, or journal entry is not the finished page, but the person you become by wrestling with the ideas yourself. Writing forces you to sit with confusion, sort through competing thoughts, decide what you actually believe, and find the words to express it clearly. That is what turned a high school essay into a life-changing moment, what helped Eisenhower prove his judgment under pressure, and what Robert Greene fears AI may quietly erase: the discipline, patience, focus, and depth that come from doing the hard thinking yourself. AI can produce something that looks like writing, but it cannot give you the transformation that happens through the act of writing. We think as we write, and when we skip the struggle, we don’t just lose the essay, we lose the chance to become clearer, sharper, and more capable thinkers.
🎬Action!
Do your own thinking before you outsource the writing. The next time you’re trying to understand something, make a decision, or form an opinion, don’t outsource the thinking too quickly. Sit with the topic first. Open a blank page and write your way toward clarity. Ask: What do I actually think about this? What do I know? What feels unclear? What am I trying to say? Let the first draft be messy, slow, and uncomfortable—that is the point. The goal is not to produce polished writing immediately, but to force your mind to organize itself. Only after you have struggled with the idea yourself should you use feedback, editing tools, or AI to sharpen what is already yours. The skill is not writing perfect sentences; it is becoming the kind of person who can think clearly enough to write them.
TOOL TIP
Cultures: A free, interactive educational tool detailing the norms, values, and practices of over 70 global cultures. Whether at work, in your home town or while travelling abroad, it can help you navigate cross-cultural interactions and build inclusive environments through practical advice on communication, business etiquette, and family dynamics.
FUN FACT
Scientists can figure out how old a fish is by counting growth rings on its scales or its ear bones (called "otoliths"). The rings mark seasonal changes in fish growth, like the annual rings in tree trunks. Otoliths grow like pearls, but the added material changes color depending on the season. The summer ring is whiter and the winter ring is thinner and more translucent. In scales, a series of fine rings appear as the scale grows. In summer the rings are wider apart. In winter the rings are closer together, because the fish grow more slowly. Each pair of rings indicates one year.
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Disclaimer: The information provided in this newsletter is for informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Please consult a medical professional for advice, diagnosis, or treatment. We are not liable for any risks or issues that may arise from using this information.
