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Quit or Commit?
Welcome to Effective Habits, a weekly newsletter where I share evidence-based strategies and tools to help you live a happy, healthy, and productive life.
Today at a Glance:
Your Social Muscles Are Wasting Away. Here Is How to Retrain Them.
Is Exercise More Effective than Medication for Depression?
The Hidden Benefits of Quitting
“The loser has more in common with the winner than with the person sitting on the sidelines.
The winner and the loser each had the courage to try. Both risked embarrassment. Both were willing to face uncertainty. Both were stubborn enough to continue.
Success is endurance in disguise. It belongs to the person who can absorb the losses without absorbing the identity of "loser." It's the courage to start — and to stick with it — that is the real separator. Results tend to find the person who stays in the game.
The sidelines are safe, but sterile. Nothing grows there.”
Your Social Muscles Are Wasting Away. Here Is How to Retrain Them.
Elizabeth Oldfield
🔦Lights, Camera, ...
Modern life often trains us to prize independence, privacy, and frictionless convenience, yet moments of crisis reveal how fragile that arrangement can be. When work, family, and logistics collide, it’s not efficiency that rescues us but people who step in to share burdens, absorb stress, and help us regain perspective. In response to housing pressure, economic uncertainty, and growing loneliness, some are rediscovering older ways of living built around shared responsibility—whether through multigenerational households, close-knit neighborhoods, or informal networks of mutual support—where chores, time, and emotional load are distributed rather than individualized. This doesn’t require joining a commune; it requires relearning skills many of us have let atrophy, like asking for help, negotiating conflict, or prioritizing relationships over convenience. It can feel awkward at first, like exercising muscles long unused. But the reward is resilience: being part of a small web of humans capable of catching one another before anyone fully sinks.
🎬Action!
Loosen your grip on preferences. Notice how easily personal preferences begin to feel like necessities, especially in a culture that encourages constant optimization and customization. Living well with others requires accepting small inconveniences, sharing space imperfectly, and choosing cooperation over control. Instead of defending every preference, practice letting minor frustrations pass, compromise where it matters least, and remind yourself that a life free of small annoyances is often a life lived alone.
Prioritize relationships over optimization. When making decisions about where and how to live, give relationships real weight alongside comfort, convenience, and aesthetics. More space or better surroundings may improve happiness temporarily, but close relationships tend to provide longer-lasting fulfillment. Choose proximity, shared time, and involvement with people you care about, even when it requires trade-offs, and be willing to take the first step in building a more connected life.
Practice radical honesty early. Address small tensions before they grow into resentment. When something bothers you, speak about it calmly and directly rather than withdrawing or letting frustration build. Honest conversations may feel uncomfortable in the moment, but they prevent misunderstandings, deepen trust, and strengthen relationships over time. The goal is not to win disagreements, but to understand each other better and move forward without lingering friction.
Is Exercise More Effective than Medication for Depression?
Dr. Rhonda Patrick
🔦Lights, Camera, ...
A large and rigorous new meta-analysis suggests that exercise may not outperform antidepressants or psychotherapy in treating depression, but it appears to work just as well, which is more significant than it sounds. Across dozens of randomized trials, structured exercise consistently produced meaningful reductions in depressive symptoms compared to no treatment, and when compared head-to-head with therapy or medication, outcomes were largely equivalent. The implication isn’t that exercise should replace clinical care, but that one of the most reliable interventions for physical health also carries real clinical value for mental health, despite often being overlooked in practice. Importantly, benefits appeared across different exercise types and intensities, suggesting there’s no single “perfect” way to move. What matters most is consistency and engagement. While the evidence isn’t flawless, partly because exercise studies can’t be blinded and long-term data remains limited, the overall signal remains clear: movement meaningfully improves mood for many people, and unlike most treatments, it simultaneously strengthens cardiovascular health, metabolic function, and long-term resilience and longevity. In that sense, “just as effective” is not a modest result, it reframes exercise as one of the rare interventions that supports both mind and body at the same time, making it less an optional lifestyle choice and more a foundational part of mental health care.
🎬Action!
Treat exercise as a non-negotiable habit for mental health, not just physical health. Instead of waiting to feel motivated or viewing movement as optional, schedule a small, repeatable block of structured exercise each week, like walking, lifting, cycling, or anything sustainable, and approach it as a foundational habit that supports mood, resilience, and long-term health at the same time. The goal isn’t to replace other treatments or optimize intensity, but to consistently move your body in a way you can maintain, recognizing that exercise is one of the rare interventions that strengthens both mental well-being and overall health and longevity simultaneously.
The Hidden Benefits of Quitting
Dr. Susan David
🔦Lights, Camera, ...
We’re taught to admire persistence above almost everything else. Passion, grit, and endurance are framed as the engines of success, reinforced by cultural slogans and stories of people who refused to give up until they finally broke through. And often, that’s true. Many meaningful achievements require staying the course through discomfort and uncertainty. But perseverance becomes less virtuous when it turns into inertia, when we continue simply because we’ve already invested time, effort, or identity into something that no longer fits who we are or where we want to go. The same self-discipline that helps us endure difficulty must be paired with the self-awareness to reassess direction. Not every goal deserves endless effort, and walking away from a path that no longer feels meaningful isn’t failure, it’s recalibration. Whether it’s a project, a job, a relationship, or an expectation we’ve outgrown, quitting can be uncomfortable precisely because it forces us to let go of who we thought we were supposed to be. Yet choosing to stop can free energy, attention, and ambition for something more aligned, making quitting not an act of weakness, but often one of courage.
🎬Action!
Run a “Quit or Commit” Check Before Continuing a Big Commitment. Before investing more time, energy, or identity into a goal, pause and deliberately reassess it. Ask yourself:
What opportunities will I give up if I continue pursuing this?
Does this still reflect what is important to me and my values?
Does it draw on my genuine strengths?
Deep down, do I truly believe this can become a success?
Does it bring me joy or a sense of satisfaction?
Am I demonstrating healthy grit or simply being obstinate because quitting feels uncomfortable?
If the answers consistently point toward misalignment, allow yourself to step back or change direction; if they point toward meaning and possibility, recommit fully and move forward with intention.
TOOL TIP
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FUN FACT
Lemons float and limes sink in fresh water primarily due to differences in density and rind structure. Lemons are less dense than water and have a thicker, airy rind that provides buoyancy. Conversely, limes are denser (roughly 1.12 g/mL) than water (1.0 g/mL), causing them to sink, as their rind is thinner and more compact.
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Disclaimer: The information provided in this newsletter is for informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Please consult a medical professional for advice, diagnosis, or treatment. We are not liable for any risks or issues that may arise from using this information.
