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Turning Conflicts into Conversations

Welcome to Effective Habits, a weekly newsletter where I share evidence-based strategies and tools to help you live a happy, healthy, and productive life.

Today at a Glance:

• 4 Rituals To Keep You Happy All The Time

• Why You Feel Grouchy on Super Hot Days

• To Have Better Disagreements, Change Your Words

4 Rituals To Keep You Happy All The Time
Eric Barker

Lights, Camera, ...
The key to happiness might be simpler than you think: it's all about the people around you. Studies show that happiness correlates most strongly with social factors like having friends, extroversion, being part of communities, and expressing gratitude. Even activities like leisure and work often involve social interactions. A fascinating 2002 study found that among the happiest people, one thing stood out: they all had strong relationships. Sure, friends can be crazy, and family might feel like an eternal sitcom, but these connections are vital for our well-being. In a world where live conversation often takes a backseat to digital interactions, the ultimate secret to happiness lies in forging and maintaining meaningful relationships.

For completeness, here’s a ranking of correlation factors (not causation, mind you):

Action!

1. Leverage Correlates of Happiness: Focus on enhancing gratitude and optimism. While aspects like appearance, education, and income matter less, fostering friendships and positive relationships can significantly boost your well-being.

2. Define a "Good Day": Reflect on what truly makes you happy and identify what constitutes a "good day" for you. Keep a daily journal for at least two weeks, noting what you do each day and rating your mood from 1 to 10. Identify patterns that contribute to good or bad days, such as exercise, social interactions, or stressful situations. Use these insights to adjust your routines.

3. Apply the Peak-End Rule: Make use of cognitive biases by creating memorable high points and ending each day on a positive note. Plan small joys, like receiving a package or spending time with friends, to make even ordinary days feel rewarding when you look back.

4. Implement the Happiness Formula: Remember the formula: "Happiness = set-point + life circumstances + volitional activity." Though you can't control your set point and have limited control over circumstances, you can engage in intentional activities that promote lasting happiness. Adopt habits that consistently improve your mood and well-being.

Why You Feel Grouchy on Super Hot Days
Allie Volpe

Lights, Camera, ...
Extreme heat doesn't just make us physically uncomfortable; it significantly impacts our mental health, too. Dr. Amruta Nori-Sarma's research reveals that on the hottest summer days, there's a spike in emergency room visits for various mental health issues, including substance use and mood disorders. This is consistent across all ages and genders, with northern US regions surprisingly more affected than the south, likely due to better heat adaptation measures in hotter areas. Sleep disruption due to heat is a major factor exacerbating mental health conditions. As we face more frequent heatwaves, knowing local resources and checking on our social networks become crucial for mental well-being.

Action!

1. Stay Cool Indoors: Use fans or air conditioning to keep your living space cool. If you don't have access to AC, spend time in public places like shopping malls or libraries that are air-conditioned.

2. Monitor Sleep: Try to maintain a cool sleeping environment to avoid heat-induced sleep disruptions, which can negatively impact mood and mental health.

3. Limit Sun Exposure: Avoid strenuous activities during peak heat hours. If you must be outside, wear light clothing and sunscreen, and take breaks in the shade.

4. Check on Others: Reach out to friends, family, and neighbors, especially those who might be more vulnerable to heat-related mental distress, like the elderly or those without access to cooling.

To Have Better Disagreements, Change Your Words
Dr. Julia Minson

Lights, Camera, ...
To foster better disagreements, it's essential to change how we talk, focusing on conversational receptiveness. This technique, which reduces confrontation and encourages open dialogue, can be particularly helpful in scenarios where one party is more motivated to engage than the other, such as parents talking to teenagers, healthcare providers advising patients, or employees communicating with higher-ups. By ensuring that both parties feel heard and respected, conversations become less contentious, and relationships remain intact, even amidst disagreements. In a society where political and personal divides often stifle communication, honing these skills can bridge gaps in families, workplaces, and beyond, allowing for more meaningful and productive interactions.

Action!

H.E.A.R

1. Hedge Your Claims: Even when you're confident about your beliefs, acknowledge that there might be situations or people who support your opponent's perspective. This shows open-mindedness and understanding.

2. Emphasize Agreement: Find common ground, even if you disagree on a specific topic. This doesn't mean compromising your beliefs, but recognizing that most people can agree on some broader ideas or values.

3. Acknowledge the Opposing Perspective: Instead of immediately jumping into your argument, take a moment to restate the other person's position. This demonstrates that you've heard and understood their point of view.

4. Reframe to the Positive: Avoid using negative or contradictory words like "no," "won't," or "do not." Instead, use positive language to change the tone of the conversation.

TOOL TIP

Rize: An AI productivity coach that uses time tracking to improve your focus and build better work habits. It tracks what you do on your device all day then categorises it by activity such as social media, meetings, writing, email etc.

FUN FACT

You grow into your name as you age. You ever meet a dude named Ralph and think, “Woah, this guy is such a Ralph”? That might be because our faces change as we age to better align with the vibe of what everyone calls us, according to a new study. In a multiple-choice format, a group of children and a group of adults could accurately match name to face “significantly above the chance level” when looking at pictures of adults—but not when looking at children’s faces. Similarly, a “machine-learning framework” found facial similarities between same-named adults but not between same-named children, further suggesting that our names are a bit of a “self-fulfilling prophecy,” per the study.

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Disclaimer: The information provided in this newsletter is for informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Please consult a medical professional for advice, diagnosis, or treatment. We are not liable for any risks or issues that may arise from using this information.