The Art of Staying Composed in Tough Moments

Welcome to Effective Habits, a weekly newsletter where I share evidence-based strategies and tools to help you live a happy, healthy, and productive life.

Today at a Glance:

• How to Take the High Road

• Americans Have Lost the Plot on Cooking Oil

• Environment Design

How to Take the High Road
Alissa Hebbeln & Dr. Russell Kolts

Lights, Camera, ...
When provoked, it's easy to react impulsively, but taking the high road requires mindful strategies to respond gracefully. Compassion-focused therapy (CFT) explains our evolutionary "threat system" which triggers intense emotional reactions, and contrasts it with the "safeness system" which fosters calm and connection. By practicing mindfulness, soothing techniques like slow breathing and imagery, and cultivating a compassionate self, we can manage our triggers better. Envisioning empathetic responses and reflecting on interactions helps us improve over time, allowing us to respond with integrity and calm, even in challenging situations.

Action!

1. Identify Your Triggers: Notice the situations, people, and topics that trigger your threat system. Make a list of these triggers and contemplate how you want to handle them in the future to align with the person you aspire to be. Develop a game plan for responding to these situations.

2. Cultivate Awareness of Your Feelings: Practice mindfulness to recognize when you’re being triggered. Regularly check in on your physical and mental state to notice shifts in your emotions. Use mindful breathing practices and mindfulness apps to help build this awareness, giving you the space to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.

3. Activate Your Safeness System: When you feel threatened, intentionally slow down and bring your safeness system online. Use techniques like soothing rhythm breathing (focus on cultivating a slow, comfortable rate of breathing) or soothing imagery to calm yourself (e.g. picturing yourself in a soothing scenario – a mental ‘place’ that helps you feel safe, soothed and calm). Practice these techniques regularly, so they become second nature in difficult situations.

4. Enlist Your Compassionate Self: Develop a compassionate version of yourself that is kind, wise, and courageous. Reflect on how this compassionate self would handle triggering situations and write down your thoughts. Use these reflections to create a specific plan for future encounters.

5. Make Life Changes to Support Compassion: Invest in self-care to create a supportive emotional context. Consider starting an exercise routine, getting more sleep, seeking therapy, setting boundaries, and avoiding harmful habits. Addressing your needs and reducing stress will help your compassionate self emerge more naturally.

6. Exercise Kind Curiosity About Others’ Behavior: Practice mentalizing to understand the motivations behind others’ challenging behaviors. Ask yourself "How does it make sense that someone might act that way?", considering their emotions, thoughts, and experiences. This can foster empathy and help you respond with compassion rather than reactivity.

Americans Have Lost the Plot on Cooking Oil
Yasmin Tayag

Lights, Camera, ...
Choosing cooking oils can be overwhelming, with a vast array of options and conflicting health claims. Despite the variety, from olive and canola to exotic choices like grapeseed and walnut, the core advice is simple: most plant-based oils, rich in unsaturated fats, are healthy and beneficial when used properly (as opposed to saturated fats that are solid at room temperature, like butter). While certain oils like extra-virgin olive oil offer added benefits due to compounds like polyphenols, focusing excessively on the minutiae distracts from the broader goal of a balanced diet. The key takeaway? Use unsaturated oils wisely, avoid overheating, don't stress too much, and remember that even "bad" oils can be part of a healthy diet if used in moderation.

Action!

1. Choose Unsaturated Oils: Opt for plant-based oils like olive, peanut, and avocado, which are rich in unsaturated fats and generally healthier.

2. Avoid Overheating Oils: Be mindful of an oil's smoke point and avoid overheating to prevent harmful by-products.

3. Store Oils Properly: Avoid storing large quantities of oil for extended periods to prevent rancidity and degradation.

4. Focus on Overall Diet: Prioritize a balanced diet over obsessing about the type of oil used; healthy oils are just a small part of a nutritious eating plan. Even “healthy” oils aren’t going to make a heavily deep-fried meal healthy.

Environment Design
Ben Meer

Lights, Camera, ...
Transform your life by transforming your space! The key to reaching your goals isn’t just willpower but designing an environment that effortlessly guides you towards them. As James Clear suggests, ask yourself, “How can I design a world where doing what's right is easy?” Remember, success doesn’t need to be instant—make gradual, intentional changes to your habits, relationships, and surroundings. Live by design, not by default!

Action!

1. Remove Visual Triggers for Bad Habits: Identify and eliminate items in your space that encourage bad habits. For example, if you want to avoid snacking on sweets, don't keep them in sight. Instead, hide, donate, or sell these items. For instance, charge your phone outside your bedroom to prevent late-night scrolling.

2. Set Up Visual Cues for Good Habits: Create visual reminders to reinforce positive habits. For example, leave your workout clothes out the night before, keep a water bottle within easy reach, and display inspiring books where you'll see them daily. Use these cues to maintain motivation and track your progress.

3. Build a Supportive Inner Circle: Surround yourself with people who inspire and uplift you. Evaluate your relationships and focus on spending more time with those who encourage positive habits, while reducing time spent with those who don't. The company you keep can significantly influence your behavior.

4. Embrace Fresh Starts: Take advantage of opportunities to reset and change your environment, whether through a physical move or by making changes in your current space. Use a fresh start to break old habits and establish new, positive patterns.

TOOL TIP

Coolers: A free online tool that let's you create the perfect colour palette or get inspired by a huge range of beautiful color schemes. Perfect for anything from digital designs like websites, logos, and illustrations, to physical merchandise, textiles, and interior design.

FUN FACT

The fundamental limit to the amount of information that can be stored in a given space (like a hard drive) is ~10⁶⁹ bits per m². If you try to store information more densely than this limit, your hard drive will collapse into a black hole.

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Note: Home meal kit services (especially ones like Purple Carrot) are an awesome way to stick to a healthy diet while saving lots of time for shopping and trying to put together recipes, as well as saving money compared to eating out and spending roughly the same as shopping for yourself.

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Disclaimer: The information provided in this newsletter is for informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Please consult a medical professional for advice, diagnosis, or treatment. We are not liable for any risks or issues that may arise from using this information.