Happiness: 7 Rules You Need to Know

Welcome to Effective Habits, a weekly newsletter where I share evidence-based strategies and tools to help you live a happy, healthy, and productive life.

Today at a Glance:

• My 7 Rules for Happiness

• The Major Problems With Trying to ‘Out-Train’ Your Diet

• Harvard Psychology Expert: The No. 1 Mistake That Can Lead Highly Successful People to Burnout

My 7 Rules for Happiness
Scott H. Young

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Happiness is elusive and often misunderstood; we chase wealth, fitness, and status, only to discover they don't truly fulfill us. Instead, we sabotage our own happiness by worrying about uncontrollable factors and harboring grudges. While not a universal solution, Scott identified seven personal rules that have significantly improved his well-being and may offer you some guidance.

Action!

1. Embrace your life's seasons: Accept the unchangeable aspects of your life and maximize the opportunities within your control. For instance, instead of longing for the beach during winter, find joy in seasonal activities. As a student, you may engage in new experiences like joining clubs and going to parties. As a parent, you’ll cherish simple pleasures like visiting farmer's markets and building sandcastles.

2. Striving is good, but achieving is overrated: Pursue goals for the joy of striving, not just for the end result. Remember, happiness lies in the pursuit itself, not just the accomplishment.

3. Meet others more than halfway: Take the initiative in relationships. Be the one who reaches out, remembers important events, and shows thoughtfulness. This approach fosters stronger connections and helps overcome self-centered tendencies.

4. Apologize often: Resolve conflicts quickly by apologizing, even for minor issues. This prevents grudges from forming and maintains healthier relationships. Ask yourself whether the relationship or being right is more important to you.

5. Stop listening to people who are paid to make you angry: Curate your media consumption to avoid content designed to provoke anger and anxiety. Focus on positive and meaningful information.

6. Seek small novelties: Find joy in small, new experiences. Try new foods, explore unfamiliar places, and enjoy the little things that can brighten your day.

7. Remember everything is a choice: Recognize the choices within constraints. Even in difficult situations there are choices in how you respond and think. This mindset helps regain a sense of control and reduces feelings of helplessness.

The Major Problems With Trying to ‘Out-Train’ Your Diet
Aadam Ali

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Trying to out-train your diet is like walking to another country when you could catch a flight—it might be possible, but it's exhausting and inefficient. The real-world issues are clear: accurately tracking calorie burn with devices like smartwatches is unreliable, the sheer amount of exercise needed to create a significant calorie deficit is unsustainable for most people; and our bodies tend to compensate for increased activity by reducing calorie burn elsewhere. Moreover, high activity levels can lead to increased hunger, making it easy to overeat and negate the calorie deficit. Thus, it's more efficient to focus on dietary changes for weight loss while using exercise to maintain muscle and overall health.

Action!

• Focus on controlling your calorie intake for effective weight management rather than relying solely on exercise. It's far simpler to cut a few hundred calories than to burn them off. Use exercise for its myriad health benefits, but let your diet do the heavy lifting for weight loss.

Harvard Psychology Expert: The No. 1 Mistake That Can Lead Highly Successful People to Burnout
Dr. Natalie Christine Dattilo

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In a whirlwind world where being busy is worn like a badge of honor, Harvard psychology expert Dr. Dattilo sheds light on the silent killer: toxic productivity. It's not just about getting things done; it's about the toll it takes on your well-being. From constant rushing to feeling guilty for downtime, toxic productivity creeps into every aspect of life, dictating self-worth and even sabotaging self-care. There are five key signs to watch out for before burnout sets in: perpetual motion, guilt over inactivity, tying self-worth to productivity, struggling to relax, and neglecting self-care. It's time to redefine success beyond the never-ending to-do list and prioritize our mental and physical health.

Action!

1. Slow Down and Breathe: Combat the constant rush by incorporating simple pacing techniques. Repeat “slow down” as a mantra for a couple of minutes, then focus on breathing. Inhale for five seconds, exhale for five seconds. This brief practice can help alleviate anxiety and reduce the feeling of urgency.

2. Practice Self-Compassion: When guilt or shame creeps in for not accomplishing enough, counter it with self-compassion. Write down your thoughts and look for patterns. Challenge any double standards — when you hold higher expectations for yourself than others — by affirming your efforts are enough. Remind yourself, “I’m doing my best, just like everyone else.”

3. Speak Kindly to Yourself: Monitor your inner dialogue and adopt a supportive tone, addressing yourself as you would a friend or loved one. Utilize distanced self-talk by referring to yourself by name. For instance, say, “You’re doing great today, [Your Name].” This technique, known as “distanced self-talk,” helps cultivate a more objective view of oneself.

4. Reframe Downtime as Opportunity: Instead of viewing relaxation as unproductive, reframe it as an opportunity for restoration. Embrace unscheduled moments by engaging in restorative activities like mindful listening or simply enjoying the present moment. Recognize that downtime is essential for overall well-being.

5. Prioritize Rest and Relaxation: Grant yourself unconditional permission to relax daily. Establish a bedtime routine that promotes restorative sleep, incorporating calming activities such as listening to soothing music, reading, or indulging in a warm bath. Remember, restorative sleep is crucial for physical and mental rejuvenation and performance.

TOOL TIP

Turn Off Google AI Overview: If you have already noticed some of the inaccuracies or wild statements that Google Search’s new AI Overview produces, or if you just find it distracting, this website will show you how to turn it off.

FUN FACT

One reason the United States didn’t adopt the metric system was because the ship crossing the Atlantic from France carrying a standard kilogram—yes, a real physical object—requested by Thomas Jefferson in 1793 was blown off course into the Caribbean and captured by pirates.

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Disclaimer: The information provided in this newsletter is for informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Please consult a medical professional for advice, diagnosis, or treatment. We are not liable for any risks or issues that may arise from using this information.